Loving Your Best Friend

Your face is perfection and beauty all blended together. I can’t remember how and when it all began, but the feel of your touch when you sat next to me, makes me look forward to something better; something fairy-tale-like, something magical.

Your eyes remind me of the stars in a pitch black night, with the gorgeous spark that lights up the dark skies. Your voice is harmony; it brings music to my soul. Talking to you makes the arms of the clock immoveable; your presence is like time lapse in the axis of the universe.

You are the reason I want to love again, the very one who makes me see love as a beautiful thing, that love is not scary. You are the poetry in my unfinished journal, and the story that I want to read forever.

You are the fulfillment of that song written by the hands of God, the notes that make music sound so pleasing. You are the warmth of every summer night, and the chill of every sunny day.

These are the things I meant to tell you since day one. Things I kept hidden for the longest time. Things I wanted you to know, yet too afraid I’d lose you if you are to find out.

You are the captivity to my long lost dreams. Your hands are the ones I wish I could clasp with mine. You are the lover I wish to be with but can never have.

You are one of the many reasons why I am able to smile today. You gave me the hope that maybe, just maybe…you and I, can be. I cannot quite retaliate; if I came too late, or that you have found someone too soon, or that you’re just noticing, or rather avoiding to acknowledge… all I am sure of is that, we missed the path where our destiny is supposed to meet.

You are the reason I hold dear to hope…you are the reason why I hope for things to change… and I hope things change soon.

I wish for the day I become the address of your love and compassion, that very day you realize I am the one… and has been the one since the day our eyes met.

You are the entity that fuels my willingness to look forward to that day…when you and I “will be”. I know I’ve pushed the boundary, and although I get so frustrated sometimes, I badly want to rewrite that fine line that connects our lives, and highlight it with a yellow marker that would indicate we are meant to intertwine, in a hoop that is bound to never end. I badly want to be the one, for you are the one I ought to love… but I cannot have.

This confession does not long for your answer or judgment. I just wanted you to know that I accounted for all possibilities, for every turn my little intervention might bring. This I ask of you: Don’t look at me with sympathy, don’t treat me with sincerity out of pity – just smile genuinely, the reason behind doesn’t have to be me. I just wanted to enlighten you, of how wonderful a person you are. You are an inspiration to someone…you are an inspiration to me.

You and I are too close, yet at the same time, too distant… I ask myself now . . .what if?

What if it has always been you and me? I won’t conclude for sure, but I will cherish that I have you in my life. Even if we stay like this, I will always admire the type of person you are; And if I were to love you more than a friend, I will make sure I am still your best friend.

I’m so sorry, I did not mean to make us feel awkward…for we are best friends – and it makes me happy to tell you how deeply I fell in love with you.

 

-Credits: Aman Mishra

Advertisements

12 Days Seemed Like 12 Years.

It is one thing to have a best friend. It’s another to have that friend also be your room neighbor. You’re no longer just friends. You become something of a family. And when they have to leave after 12 days with you in the dwindling time you even have left together, it becomes a very sad sad day.

With your absence, I lose a partner-in-crime, a drinking buddy, a Whatsapp best friend, series marathons, late night revelations, a telepathic partner, a confidante, a news source, a personal life and gym coach, a cuddy buddy, a souse-chef, a mother and so much more. However, this absence only reminds me what it means to have friend like you. It reminds me how special these bonds are and the importance of people like you in my life. Its friends like you that know me better than I know myself. It’s this kind of friend that reminds me that I deserve better when I need to hear it, and know when to keep their mouths shut when I need to figure it out for myself. It’s these friends who are by my side without ever having to ask. It’s these kinds of friend like you I know were meant to be more than just college roommates, but lifelong friends.

As you embark on this journey on your own, you understand that this is only the beginning. That soon enough, we will each begin our own path in pursuit of fulfilling our own unique desires and dreams. With your day of departure fast-approaching there is only one more time where we can spend entire night lying in bed watching series (Breaking Bad), talking endlessly about girls, discussing future wedding plans, contemplating our futures, while not giving a fuck or understanding how close the departure and future really is. But that future is the scary part. We’re being tossed into the world (and by world I mean moving back into our parents houses looking desperately for jobs) like a chicken with our heads cut off, not knowing what to do next. And not only will it be the first time in your life you may not be returning to institution, but it will be the first time in a very long time that this physical separation between you and me is more than just temporary. But again, it’s this kind of friend that I know were meant to be more than just college roommates. We are meant to be lifelong friends. So no, I’m no longer that sad you’re leaving, because I know it’s not the end, but only the beginning of what’s to come.

P.S. It hurts when you lose someone close to you on the very same date and month.